E11even Miami – It Is What You Think It Is

posted in: Florida, Miami, United States | 0
photo from 11miami.com
photo from 11miami.com

But what is it really? E11even Miami located at 29 N.E. 11th Street Downtown Miami sits in front of the famous Space night club. It is a beautiful building and a new addition to the strip of night clubs known for their after hour parties till the sun rises and then some. The building shows itself off like a new museum in South Florida; up lighting surrounds the building with its interesting modern façade inviting you in. It can even make the casual hipster smile while discovering the feeling of being posh.

Valet parking is accessible in front of club E11even’s entrance and $10-$20 dollar self-parking is available in the surrounding areas.  We recommend parking as close as possible to the venue and advise not to take a public parking option due to the surrounding area’s history of crime. We arrived at E11even Miami at 3 A.M. on Friday night of opening weekend; yes 3 A.M. because we did not want to stop sipping expensive drinks through a coffee straw while listening to banging EDM music. It never gets old for a Miami resident and this place really sets in the new model for a fucking after party. With its glamorous marketing and open 24/7 operation, this is the resting place for an alcoholic insomniac.  Chances of seeing some sexy international flesh are high here; this is a cabaret after all. So if you are squeamish about big fake breast wrapping around a shiny silver pole then go home and take a nap before your Sunday mass starts.

Eleven MiamiWe started out at the entrance waiting in the general admission line where groups of women were escorted promptly through the lines, while men and couples waited patiently. The wait time for us was roughly about 15-20 minutes which is not rough at all given opening weekend at a Miami club, where you can be standing like sheep being harassed by steroid addicted bouncers for hours while watching them let in their bros and hoes before frustration kicks in and you give in to slipping then a large tip to wait slightly less time to get into the party. No need for that here; this place was bumping at 3 am and the bouncers were dressed to impress and extremely friendly shaking your hand and giving you their name Manny the bouncer was our first impression of E11even Miami and he assured us that the culture of the club was not make it a hassle to let people in the party as he lifted the velvet rope and directed us into the entrance. As we made our way in, we were greeted by a second older gentleman in a sports tux named Adam who seemed to be the head of the front door operation. We were welcomed again and a second bouncer kindly opened the door for us, definitely feeling a VIP status for a general admission entrance here.

So far E11even Miami felt like a sophisticated and welcoming place to have a good time. Passing through the opening doors we were directed by this massive dude, who I would encourage the fetal position for a MMA fighter picking a fight. He pointed at two cute ladies behind a register and one of them mentioned the cover charge was $60 per male per entrance. Yikes!  As we silently gripped our wallets and pondered if this was actually worth it she said “That will be $30 each”. I loved her math skills. With the excitement of a new venue and excellent EDM music flowing out from inside, we bit the bullet and paid a $60 total cover charge for two males.

Finally, it was time to have some fun.  We hit the bar which is conveniently located 5 steps from the entrance with its illuminated gold table top and sexy female bartenders dressed in pencil skirts and not so revealing tops for Miami standards. We ordered a Tanqueray gin on the rocks and a Bacardi rum and coke for a total of $28 dollars. With our drinks in hand the inviting sensation began to dissipate and the reality of how expensive this adventure might turn out to be set in. As I pay the tip on the receipt, a server takes her time from this bee hive of a bar to address a question I had on this additional host / sa gratuity section on the receipt. She was polite and educated in her response, saying I have no clue what that is. I came to conclusion that this must be for an additional tip for a VIP host or a way to generously give your money away and make it rain with your ink pen for shits and giggles.

Walking away from the bar and exploring the vicinity of E11even Miami, you can appreciate what a truly amazing operation it was. The lights, music, alcohol and crowd were beautiful and did I mention the women… especially the women! They were all very attractive and seductively dressed. I couldn’t help but noticed that there wasn’t one woman that was not capable of staring in Americas Next Top Model contest. I then looked at my drink and said holy shit this must be some good ass gin. As I continued to look through my gin goggles, I couldn’t help notice the on-going aerial acrobat hanging from the ceiling above a huge VIP section surrounding a pole dancer revealing some great assets. As I glanced to my left and then my right, E11even Miami continued to reveal its truth. Sections of VIP tables and private rooms take up more than half of the night club. Where was the dance floor? Then logic set in and I realized I was completely unprepared for the reality of what E11even exactly is. An upscale gentlemen’s club filled with men throwing dollars in the air, talking to women they just met about business agreements for a private showing in the champagne room. The entire club was filled with female entertainers. There was not one identifiable woman that wasn’t working tonight. Even after 2 hours of searching for this anomaly, I ran into a nice young lady having a lemon drop martini next to me at the bar talking with her friend.  After an interesting 15 minute conversation she finally revealed to me that we could have more fun in a private room for a fee. I felt as if the entire female race had become a contracted business.

E11even Miami is not what you think it is. It is in fact a very classy 24/7 gentlemen’s club packed with entertainers to the brink of shocking belief of the reality that not one female presence is an actual girl you can dance with without dishing out $40.00; and it’s not for a cosmopolitan in hopes of getting her loose. The women and staff were kind and being a strip joint, I applaud the management for making these entertainers professional and disguising them as local party girls. The confusion was set in for the poor couples and single ladies looking for the next club or Miami night life scene with an exotic cabaret twist. It was a revolving door for that crowd and I can see why. The marketing for this venue felt more as a French cabaret themed night club. My expectations prior were a Paris Crazy Horse / Cirque du Solei / Liv night club all in one. This could have been the envy of the Miami night club scene but instead it was a juiced up Scarlet’s Cabaret. For the single man, bachelor party or adventurous couple this would be the best option to see some ass and get trashed elegantly. We exited the club around 5 A.M. and it was still packed to the brim showing no signs of slowing down. To squash the tease of a real strip club, my buddy and I now ventured to some local strip joints, only to find all of them closed with empty parking lots. Maybe E11even Miami really has found a place for its self in the South Florida night life scene.

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